Can You Get Your Family Back After Addiction?
One of the hallmarks of addiction is suffering from a broken relationship with your family. Withdrawing and isolating yourself from loved ones in order to hide your addiction is very common as your social circle changes. Being defensive about your addiction, or even remaining in denial, are also very common. People often manipulate family members in order to gain resources for their addiction, including money, housing and more. People may also steal from family or borrow money that they do not intend on repaying.
Addiction can leave many casualties along its way, including divorce or seemingly irreparable damage between parent and child. People may even lose their kids, or have restraining orders filed against them by family members in an effort by the family to protect themselves from their loved one’s actions.
When you have made the decision that you’ve had enough of your addiction and you’re ready to get sober, fixing your relationship with your family may seem out of reach. Addiction makes people act in ways they normally wouldn’t, and when you look back at the things you’ve done, your actions may seem unforgivable. Luckily, there are things you can do to show your family you have changed, and that you want to be back in their lives in a positive way.
Understanding Your Family
The first step toward repairing your relationship with your family is fully understanding their point of view. When someone is under the influence of a substance, it can be very hard to make good decisions and have a clear mind to see with. The decisions and actions that are made can be very hurtful to a family, and can damage trust and love. They can be damaged to the point that family members may choose to cut you out of their lives.
When you go to treatment for addiction, it is an extremely positive step in your life. However, it can also leave behind a lot of resentment for family members. They are left to pick up the pieces of your addiction, while you are able to escape to treatment and focus on yourself.
By being able to understand that your family is hurt, trust is broken and that a lot of time and work are needed to fix these things, the repairing can begin. Acknowledging their hurt and the consequences your misgivings have created for them can go a long way with many people.
In the twelve step program, one of the most important steps is making a list of people that your addiction has affected. The next step is to reach out to these people to make amends and surrender yourself. Sincerely apologizing for your words and actions is extremely important.
Be detailed and acknowledge everything that you have done. Listen to them and allow them to express themselves to you, as well. Do not be defensive – instead, be empathetic. Your family has suffered a lot of hurt and sleepless nights, so forgiveness may not come quickly. However, offering a heartfelt apology is an important step toward making things right with them.
If your family has accepted that you are working on changing your life and that you genuinely want to change, you will have to work on earning their trust back. For a long time, your addiction has made you dishonest, shady and volatile. All the negativity that came with your addiction was palpable to them, and suddenly shifting gears to having a positive relationship with you can be difficult for many people. This will come with building trust and time working on it.
Involvement in Your Recovery
An extremely important part in not only your journey, but your family’s as well, is to participate in your recovery. Ask them if they are willing to participate in the family program to talk with other families of people suffering from addiction. They will be able to gain valuable insight and advice from other people who have been through what they are going through.
In addition, you family can attend therapy sessions with you, so that you can start rebuilding your relationships in a safe space. Your family can also work with your therapist to help develop your aftercare program, which puts boundaries and expectations in place for when you leave treatment. That way, everyone is on the same page and there are no surprises down the road.
About Pinelands Recovery Center
Family is the most important thing in life, and addiction can unfortunately come between these precious relationships. Addiction can be damaging not only to the person suffering from it, but for the entire family as well. You’ll have to work hard to repair the damages, but it will pay off in the long run when you are living a healthy, happy life in recovery. It can be possible to get your family back after addiction.
Pinelands Recovery Center of Medford is widely known as one of New Jersey’s finest, most respected addiction treatment facilities. With comfortable 30-bed accommodations and a 24-hour professional staff, we can offer clients a serene, relaxing environment amid the lush piney woods. This stress-free setting with its sense of warmth and welcoming enables you to feel comfortable and confident about your clean and sober life ahead.
We will establish clear goals, both general in nature and specific to your needs. We continue to monitor those goals, to make sure that our clients are progressing and buying into their recovery plan. We thrive on assisting clients in feeling connected to the recovery community, share and demonstrate effective coping techniques, help clients to modify attitudes and patterns of behavior and everything else you will need to be happy and productive living a sober, healthy life.
We ensure that clients complete their planned concrete tasks, encourage hope, optimism and
healthy living. Our recovery program is not a revolving door treatment program; it is a recovery model designed to help clients go on to lead productive, happy lives. For more information, visit pinelandsrecovery.com